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How to be an artist

08 Aug 2010

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I was on the phone today with Des, who runs the Rainbow Mill in Norfolk, and who hosted the NVC Dance Floor Festival that L’aura and I went to in July. He read me a poem that I recognized but couldn’t quite place. So I googled it, and of course! Sark! It connected me with my wild, playful, childlike, rainbow self. So in hopes of inspiring more rainbow children to come out and play with me, I post it here:

How to be an Artist

stay loose. learn to watch snails.
plant impossible gardens. invite
someone dangerous to tea. make
little signs that say yes! and post
them all over your house. make
friends with freedom & uncertainty. look forward
to  dreams. cry during movies. swing
as high as you can on a swingset,
by moonlight. cultivate moods. refuse
to “be responsible”. do it for love.
take lots of naps. give money away.
do it now. the money will follow.
believe in magic. laugh a lot.
celebrate every gorgeous moment.
take moonbaths. have wild
imaginings, transformative dreams,
and perfect calm. draw on the walls.
read every day. imagine yourself
magic. giggle with children. listen
to old people. open up. dive in. be free.
bless yourself. drive away fear.
play with everything. entertain
your inner child. you are innocent.
build a fort with blankets. get wet.
hug trees.
write love letters.

SARK

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              <td height="47" nowrap="nowrap" valign="top" align="center"><span class="text"><a href="http://www.campsark.com/pages/bio.php"><b><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">about <br soft=""></span></b></a><a href="http://www.campsark.com/pages/bio.php"><b><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">SARK<br soft=""></span></b></a></span></td>
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        <div id="e4" style="position: absolute; left: 235px; top: 192px; width: 411px; height: 480px;">
          <table width="411" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">
            <tbody><tr>
              <td height="480" nowrap="nowrap"><span class="text"><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">STAY LOOSE. LEARN TO WATCH SNAILS. PLANT <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">IMPOSSIBLE GARDENS. INVITE SOMEONE DANGEROUS <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">TO TEA. MAKE LITTLE SIGNS THAT SAY YES! AND<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">POST THEM ALL OVER YOUR HOUSE. MAKE FRIENDS <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#990099"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">WITH FREEDOM &amp; UNCERTAINTY. LOOK FORWARD TO <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">DREAMS. CRY DURING MOVIES. SWING AS HIGH AS<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">YOU CAN ON A SWINGSET, BY MOONLIGHT. <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">CULTIVATE MOODS. REFUSE TO "BE RESPONSIBLE".<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">DO IT FOR LOVE. TAKE LOTS OF NAPS.<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#6600ff"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">GIVE MONEY AWAY. DO IT NOW. &nbsp;THE MONEY WILL <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">FOLLOW. BELIEVE IN MAGIC. LAUGH A LOT. <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">CELEBRATE EVERY GORGEOUS MOMENT. TAKE <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">MOONBATHS. HAVE WILD IMAGININGS, <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">TRANSFORMATIVE DREAMS, AND PERFECT CALM. <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#6600ff"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">DRAW ON THE WALLS. READ EVERY DAY. IMAGINE <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">YOURSELF MAGIC. GIGGLE WITH CHILDREN. LISTEN<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">TO OLD PEOPLE. OPEN UP. DIVE IN. BE FREE. BLES</span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9933"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">S <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">YOURSELF. DRIVE AWAY FEAR. PLAY WITH <br soft="">EVERYTHING. &nbsp;<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">ENTERTAIN YOUR INNER CHILD. YOU ARE INNOCENT.<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#9900cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">BUILD A FORT WITH BLANKETS. GET WET.<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">HUG TREES. WRITE LOVE LETTERS.<br soft=""></span>
            </tr>
          </tbody></table>
        </div>
        <div id="e3" style="position: absolute; left: 696px; top: 492px; width: 60px; height: 47px;">
          <table width="60" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">
            <tbody><tr>
              <td height="47" nowrap="nowrap" valign="top" align="center"><span class="text"><a href="http://www.campsark.com/pages/bio.php"><b><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">about <br soft=""></span></b></a><a href="http://www.campsark.com/pages/bio.php"><b><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">SARK<br soft=""></span></b></a></span></td>
            </tr>
          </tbody></table>
        </div>
        <div id="e4" style="position: absolute; left: 235px; top: 192px; width: 411px; height: 480px;">
          <table width="411" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">
            <tbody><tr>
              <td height="480" nowrap="nowrap"><span class="text"><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">STAY LOOSE. LEARN TO WATCH SNAILS. PLANT <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">IMPOSSIBLE GARDENS. INVITE SOMEONE DANGEROUS <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">TO TEA. MAKE LITTLE SIGNS THAT SAY YES! AND<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">POST THEM ALL OVER YOUR HOUSE. MAKE FRIENDS <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#990099"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">WITH FREEDOM &amp; UNCERTAINTY. LOOK FORWARD TO <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">DREAMS. CRY DURING MOVIES. SWING AS HIGH AS<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">YOU CAN ON A SWINGSET, BY MOONLIGHT. <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">CULTIVATE MOODS. REFUSE TO "BE RESPONSIBLE".<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">DO IT FOR LOVE. TAKE LOTS OF NAPS.<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#6600ff"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">GIVE MONEY AWAY. DO IT NOW. &nbsp;THE MONEY WILL <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">FOLLOW. BELIEVE IN MAGIC. LAUGH A LOT. <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">CELEBRATE EVERY GORGEOUS MOMENT. TAKE <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">MOONBATHS. HAVE WILD IMAGININGS, <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">TRANSFORMATIVE DREAMS, AND PERFECT CALM. <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#6600ff"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">DRAW ON THE WALLS. READ EVERY DAY. IMAGINE <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">YOURSELF MAGIC. GIGGLE WITH CHILDREN. LISTEN<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9900"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">TO OLD PEOPLE. OPEN UP. DIVE IN. BE FREE. BLES</span></font></b><b><font color="#ff9933"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">S <br soft=""></span></font></b><b><font color="#66cc00"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">YOURSELF. DRIVE AWAY FEAR. PLAY WITH <br soft="">EVERYTHING. &nbsp;<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#0000cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">ENTERTAIN YOUR INNER CHILD. YOU ARE INNOCENT.<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#9900cc"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">BUILD A FORT WITH BLANKETS. GET WET.<br></span></font></b><b><font color="#ff0033"><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px;">HUG TREES. WRITE LOVE LETTERS.<br soft=""></span>

Going to the places that scare us

06 Aug 2010

No Comment  Blog

Found the basis of that quote in this YouTube video from Pema Chodron. I love her words and her wisdom. It has given me great solace knowing that the things in my life that seem yucky and tough and painful are the greatest places to begin opening up to depth and compassion for myself and others.

The Prison of Wealth

03 Aug 2010

No Comment  Blog

Discovered the book “The Soul of Money” by Lynne Twist on Gayano’s vast bookshelf, and stumbled upon this bit about the author’s meeting with Mother Theresa:

The vicious cycle of poverty, [Mother Theresa] said, has been clearly articulated and is widely known. What is less obvious and goes almost completely unacknowledged is the vicious cycle of wealth [my emphasis]. There is no recognition of the trap that wealth so often is, and of the sufferning of the wealthy: the lonliness, the isolation, the hardening of the heart, the hunger and poverty of the soul that can come with the burden of wealth. She said that I had extended little or no compassion to the strong, the powerful, and thewealthy, while they need as much compassion as anyone else on earth.

“You must open your heart to them and become their student and their teacher,” she said n her letter. “Open your compassion and include them. This is an important part of your life’s work. Do not shut them out. They also are your work.”

Wow… ‘the vicious cycle of wealth’… that phrase still leaves me in shock. How can I have compassion for the powerful? The strong? They have the means to change their lives but choose not to! How can I pity them?? Hmmm… ‘pity’?? Wow – is it really pity I feel when I think of the hungry people I see on the streets of India? And all this time I was making myself feel good by naming it ‘compassion’? Scary…

Wow… Having compassion for the rich for the trap they’re caught in and compassion for the poor for their trap… compassion for all beings regardless of the traps that blind us and make us think we’re bound and imprisoned.

– Jason

How do we look at conflicts?

02 Aug 2010

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I’m reading Liv Larsson’s book on mediation (in swedish), and I enjoyed this one piece about how we look at conflicts.

In the Life Enriching Culture, conflicts:

  • are natural and can be handled
  • happen when there is life and dreams present
  • when handled early and openly they are often enriching and contribute to growth and creativity
  • are handled best thru mutual listening and openness

In the Dominance Culture, conflicts:

  • are unnatural and are signs that something or someone is wrong. Difficult people are the cause of conflicts.
  • should be prevented or avoided
  • are prevented most effectively by controlling people
  • that aren’t handled grow and become hard to handle

I especially liked the bit about “conflicts are caused by difficult people or ‘trouble-makers’…” – I really started to laugh after I read that one. How much my views have changed. Now with NVC mediation skills, I’m not afraid of the things I used to be afraid of. My old strategy was trying to control the uncontrollable – which led to anger and frustration and fear – and with NVC I’ve switched to a strategy of presence and connection. This helps me be more present to what’s going on, and less attached to needing to change anything.

But How Do We Listen?

02 Aug 2010

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“But how do we listen? It is so simple and so hard. So obvious to begin and so elusive to maintain. In this lies the vitality of deep listening. To keep beginning. Over and over. To keep emptying and opening. And simply to keep listening. For to listen is to continually give up all expectation and to give our attention, completely and freshly, to what is before us, not really knowing what we will hear or what that will mean. In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.” — Mark Nepo “The Exquisite Risk”

Mediation in Wales

30 Jul 2010

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I (Jason) just finished giving a three day mediation training at the house of our friend Gayano, an NVC supporter who lives near Lampeter in Wales. We had a total of 10 people participate and had a lot of fun! The first two days were an introduction to the basics of NVC mediation – the 5-step model (what to do) and the 6 skills of an NVC mediator (how to do it). We used most of the time to do ‘Dry Practice’ exercises designed by Kay Rung and Liv Larsson. The third day was dedicated to the Enemy Image Process (EIP) as I learned it from John Kinyon. Enemy images keep us from connecting with the real human being in front of us. Removing these enemy images enable us to enjoy the person, and our life more fully. The EIP is well suited for use in a pre-mediation setting to help increase self-connection and connection with the other person involved in the situation.

I’ve posted the training notes. Feel free to download and share them.

Willing to experience the alone-ness…

18 May 2010

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“Willing to experience the alone-ness I discover connection
everywhere; turning to face my fear, I meet the warrior who lives
within; opening to my loss, I gain the embrace of the Universe;
surrendering into emptiness, I find fullness without end. Each
condition I flee from pursues me, each condition I welcome transforms
me, and becomes itself transformed into its radiant jewel-like
essence. I bow to the one who has made it so, who has crafted this
Master Game. To play it is purest delight. To honour its form – true
devotion.”
Jennifer Welwood

Happy Earthday Birthday!

22 Apr 2010

No Comment  Blog

Word to the Mother
-Drew Dellinger, 1998

I once was blind, but now I see
I understand that the planet is the source of me
Literally, just like a mom gives birth to a babe
Mother Earth’s given birth to everything that’s been made
Word to the Mother
more…

I want to be used up when I die…

05 Mar 2010

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“I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and
as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I
want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the
more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief
candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up
for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing on to future generations.”

George Bernard Shaw

I want to know if you are willing to live…

05 Mar 2010

No Comment  Blog

Self Portrait

It doesn’t interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

– David Whyte
from Fire in the Earth
©1992 Many Rivers Press

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