http://audio01.will.illinois.edu/focus111011b.mp3
gosh, missing dom’s live presence…
some links from this dapodi community in pune:
www.clearviewproject.org/indiabuddhismrising.html
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triratna_Buddhist_Community
blog.insightyv.com/?p=1155
so, i can’t say that i’m fully self-connected or fully inspired in a way where words and writing just come easy… i normally so much enjoy writing and reflecting, as it gives me a real space to explore internally… i haven’t yet had the time and space to digest all that has happened over the past week – but what i’m very clear about is how grateful i am for the growth i’m sure i’m experiencing here…
since about november or so, i’ve been telling myself that i want to have more connection with the indian community – and that independent and beyond my work with INVCI – just plain, authentic, direct connection… and yes, it’s happening! i also shared this commitment/intention during my assessment event in march – that although i was connected and involved through INVCI – i still lacked some sort of real connection… living in av and being western means that my immediate community included more people who think and behave like me than those who think and behave differently than i do… and yet, wow… how similar we all are. i’m LOVING experiencing so much connection here…
in the coming days and weeks, i’m looking forward to unpacking all that has happened and impacted me here…
gratitude…
mmm, today was calm… we were supposed to go on a little day-trip, but that didn’t happen. so instead we celebrated the first training, and i was really touched to hear how deeply impacted the women were by what they were learning and experiencing here. i recorded some of what they shared, and i hope to transcribe a few lines to post here later on.
vilas also visited for a chat, and we shared ideas about continued learning opportunities. i’ve decided to offer them a year-long leadership program, with our first training in auroville in august!
sunita and supriya left, so now we’re down to me, priti, nahid and varsha. and dhivya comes later this evening. intermediate women’s power coming up…!
look at this chick! she’s incredible! i just can’t believe her story… lost her father, neglected, abused, “sold,” and finally free and emancipated!!!!!!!!!!! all by the age of 18!!!!!!
read more about nahid’s story here – an article in The Hindu.
i’ve invited nahid to come and spend some time at the LLC. i’d love to show her auroville, a place where i believe she can just truly be, without having to worry about how she’s perceived and what possible dangers are lurking in the dark. however, she ain’t scared of anything! she has totally convinced herself that she’s free and can do whatever she feels like in life! sweet!
My gosh, when am I ever gonna get some time and space to myself?! Some rest! No way! This is full-on 24 hours! 5 women, 1 young girl and 1 teenage boy are all dancing, the Hindi movie music blasting… I danced some, but actually am in a mood for alone-time. However, that ain’t happening, unless I wanna go sleep in the temple nearby, or under the drizzling clouds with mozzies…
However, holy cow – AMAZING! I wish I would have had time to digest and process the last 2 days of the 1st training in Pune. The first day was a bit chaotic, but it got more settled and deeper as we progressed. I landed into my “zone,” and the participants shared more and more of themselves. The celebrations at the end were heartwarming…
But no time for that – now I’m somewhere else! A basic training with 6 women in Lonavala, outside Pune. Again, amazing! Such quick connection, depth, authenticity and fun! Residential! And “Indians” aren’t afraid to share spaces together, so none of the usual triggers I’m used to with “Westerners”! There’s simplicity, flow, lightness and cooperation…
Oh, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s just so incredibly rich.
Dinner time…
Hmm, day 3… Yes! I’m curious what’s gonna emerge today… It’s so odd, though, that I almost have no feelings, no nothing happening inside (or I mean, no nothing that I’m able to connect with). It’s as if I actually need time and space to myself to be able to self-connect and really stay present to what’s happening inside – time and space to re-source, so that I’m equipped to be present at other times, when others are around. And I basically have NO space… Sharing an apartment with 4 others, their friends, their rhythm… 
Wow, just sitting here… and idli is happening, in plastic bags, on the floor, from the outside stall on the street… So different… So Indian, so familiar, but so not my style… Amazing how different we can be…
Okay, I’m too distracted… But having some meaningful connections, slow and in a different flow… Happy I’m learning, growing, seeing life through different lenses…
mmm, today was easier, so to speak. we were 7 and so the distractions were 4 people less…! although, don’t get me wrong – the regular scene was still alive: phones, SMSs, photos, chit-chatting, god-knows-what-else!!! it’s so funny – i can’t help but make cultural comparisons and just wonder. i have a box that indian education for the most part is about “sit down, be quiet, behave and listen to the teacher – don’t talk until you’re asked to.” and i’d put western education into another box – that of “learn, challenge the teacher and your thinking, and certainly only come if you’re willing to participate and engage – and BE your normal self!” so how is it that when it’s about a workshop setting, the whole scene changes around?! here, there’s chaos! where did the good-student attitude disappear?! they’re apparently interested, otherwise i don’t imagine they’d stay (or come in the first place), but i don’t get how they can’t sit still for longer than half an hour or so… maybe it’s cuz i need to be really strict?!
so i am missing the quality of attention and focus i enjoy with western participants, whom i’ve experienced to normally stay engaged throughout the workshop, or otherwise they make requests for movement or a break.
oh, on the run… a family participating in the training has invited me for dinner… ahhhh (no!), more food!
I’m grateful to be given the gift of experiencing life differently.
I’m grateful to be experiencing our human diversity.
I’m grateful to have a bed and room without mozzies and bed-bugs.
I’m grateful to have had 2 good night’s sleep.
I’m grateful for the bananas, mangoes and carrots I’ve been offered.
I’m grateful my belly has been happy.
I’m grateful for the generosity of people sharing their homes and spaces with me.
I’m grateful for the financial support to make this trip possible.
I’m grateful to be out of my comfort zone, to challenge and enrich my life.
I’m grateful for people’s enthusiasm to learn and share NVC.
I’m grateful for the willingness to translate, so that I can be understood and understand.
I’m grateful to be understanding so much Hindi without translation!
I’m grateful to be welcomed into a community different than my immediate one.
I’m grateful I have space for my morning sitting and exercises.
I’m grateful my body wakes early, naturally.
and more…
Wow, I’m just noticing myself… Wanting to eat and eat shit. Already bought 2 small chip packets and feasting now on my Bakery biscuits (that I contemplated not bringing, imaging I wouldn’t crave junk! – haha!)
Today was tough… Felt well rested and woke up early at 5am for my sitting and some exercises, and then jotted down some ideas for the day. But oh shit, this is Indian-style at its best! We were “supposed” to start at 9.30am, but people were still trickling in at 10.45am…!
And people were distracted and moving all over the place – cell phones, organizing tea and lunch, toilet visits, baby running about – and a totally mixed group. We were 11 in all, ranging from a 9th grader to participants in their late 30’s and early 40’s (guestimating…), and from total beginners to some who have been at it longer than I have! Well…
And I missed this sense of real depth and concentration. I missed not having the language (we translated into Hindi – and sometimes Marathi). I wasn’t sure how to gauge where people were at, if they were interested or not, learning or not, following or not, bored or not – wow…! And co-creation, self-responsibility and leadership are tough challenges here… Phew…
I have a lot to learn…
I’m beat. I’m a bit feeling-dead too – nothing much there. It’s just all so different, so unfamiliar (I mean, familiar, to be expected – all of it – the apartment I’m living in, everything, but still unfamiliar in the sense of “where do I find my rhythm, my zone within this context”).
But I did catch myself thinking, “No, you’re not gonna get away with this. You better start counting your grati-berts… This has got to be such a rich opportunity – don’t miss out on it…”
But I’m too tired… Maybe tomorrow morning…
